i am officially finished with writing papers this semester. i turned in my milton paper yesterday and i couldn’t have been more relieved. now all i have to do is study for three final exams. someone asked me if i was stressed out and i had to be honest in thinking about the conclusion of paper-writing before replying, “the worst part is over.”
my cap and gown are stuffed in individual plastic wrappers and somewhere in the backseat of my car. pratt was in the backseat the other afternoon and asked, “you know your cap and gown are on the floor, right?” i nodded and chuckled. they’ve been back there for a few months now. i’ve just never felt like carrying them in with me. after all, we have to return them anyways, and it’s not like this is necessarily an exciting event. i am participating in the ceremony next weekend, but i won’t receive my diploma until next december, so technically i won’t graduate until next december. boxx summed it up perfectly by stating that it was a “fake graduation.” still, i hope that i haven’t lost the tassle and that it’s still stuffed in the cap, because it might be a little weird if i didn’t have one.
i didn’t even want to do this whole ceremony, but i am doing it for two reasons. first, my parents want to take pictures. second, the provost and her secretary (both of whom i greatly respect) insist that i attend. i suppose it is normal for your parents to want to attend your college graduation and take pictures. my mother’s surgery is that following monday, so i feel more compelled to do it because of her, not to mention that i’ll be spending my entire summer in the provost’s office working for her and her secretary. they would harass me about skipping out on the ceremony, but remain content with the knowledge that i would just be doing it next may. *the provost is the one who can give permission to avoid a ceremony and because she is my favorite professor, my academic advisor, andthe provost, it just so happens that i’m the last person that she’d allow to do so* so here i come in my fake cap and gown for my fake ceremony on saturday. yee.haw. i sort of hope it rains. the thought of sitting out in the sun for several hours participating in something with a lot of people that i don’t know makes me a little disgusted. i guess that’s my fault for being a commuter. i know a few people that will be graduating, such as webster-hughes, gilkison, damron, and dickinson. i find consolation in the fact that it will be a fake graduation for boxx.
tomorrow is when GOAL will announce the winners of the free trip to korea. it’s a one week thing, but it’s all paid for. korean adoptees get the opportunity to go to their orphanage, meet their foster parents, and possibly their birth parents. i am interested in it to see my orphanage, foster mother, and meet and mingle with other adoptees. if anything, my essay is the only thing that i have to remain hopeful about. i want to go, but i don’t. because when you want to do something, it makes it that much harder to handle the news that you’re not. but wanting to go makes the whole thing worthwhile. at any rate, whoever the 40 or 42 participants are, i am excited for them and wish them luck.
my first exam is tomorrow at 9. psychology: personality. i’m going to the library this afternoon here in town to make notecards. i need complete silence when studying, reading, or writing –or concentrating in general. plus there’s something about studying or working somewhere more foreign than your home that helps you get things done. it’s ironic that i’m planning on scurrying off to the library because i remember when i was in middle school and high school, i never really viewed the library as a place of solitude and greater thinking (then again, you’d have to see our library). i remember deeming the librarians as mean and rude when they fussed at us for running up and down the aisles or laughing and talking too loud. and even though i’m older, i still stand by the fact that the librarians are rude (it wasn’t until college that i developed respect for librarians), but at 22, i would be the first one to jump up and slap a child for running or being too loud. occasionally, when i want children to be quiet in a movie (since their parents aren’t doing anything about it –idiots), i inhale and “shhhhhhhhhhh” loudly. it makes heads turn, but usually it embarrasses the idiot parents and they make the noise stop. maybe it’ll work this afternoon.
Deadpan Poet 